Google the saying “best location in the nation” and whad’ya know? Cleveland appears atop the search results.
Cleveland is a quintessential Midwest city that does not disappoint when it comes to food, beer, coffee, entrainment, art, culture, and, of course, rock and roll – and don’t let the naysayers tell you otherwise. But, like any city on the map, Cleveland isn’t for everyone. For those flirting with the idea of moving to the North Coast, you may want to think twice if…
1. You don’t do winter.
All four seasons are alive and well in the Greater Cleveland area. Spring is a breath of fresh air and allows our vitamin D levels to resume. Summer in the city is one-of-a-kind. Fall is crisp and festive. Winter, on the other hand, can get intense.
When Old Man Winter makes his annual appearance – usually within the month of November or December – Cleveland is subject to lake effect snow storms, biter temperatures, ice, gloom, and an occasional arctic blast. Yes, that’s a dramatic phrase, but it’s how weather experts describe near zero temps and whipping winds that make the air feel like -20 degrees. Bear in mind, winter weather never stops the fun in Cleveland, but if you don’t jive with winter weather, Cleveland may not be the city for you.
2. You crave a fast-paced, up-all-night city.
Downtown Cleveland is chill. Of course, there are days and times when it’s crowded as hell – like concerts, game days, the dreaded rush hour – but Cleveland fosters a pretty easy-going vibe. There’s a definite bar scene, music scene, and club scene, but if you’re looking for the 5 am party scene, Cleveland may not be the city for you.
3. You enjoy the sport of football.
This may come as a shock to some of you, but the Cleveland Browns are not a very good football team. In fact, the Browns are kind of the joke of the NFL.
Oh, you already knew that? Right. Who doesn’t. With that being said, if you want to live in a city that delivers a team that won at least one game in the 2017-2018 season, then Cleveland may not be the city for you.
I’d be remiss, however, if I didn’t mention the fans. Cleveland Browns fans are die-hard. Tailgate hard. Cheer hard. And believe even harder…that the next season will be different, better, yield a winning record. The beer is always half full for Dawg Pound-ers. So, if you want to live in a city with boring, faithless fans, then Cleveland may not be the city for you.
4. You were hoping to move to a college city.
Cleveland is home to three renowned, nationally-known universities with Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland State University, and John Carroll University, but Cleveland is far from a college town. The city’s identity isn’t shaped by the presence of these universities, and Cleveland’s population isn’t university-dominated. So, if you were hoping to continue your collegiate glory days, then Cleveland may not be the city for you.
5. You can’t stand the sight of orange construction barrels.
— Benjamin Duer (@bduerREP) April 14, 2015
Some may have you believe that Cleveland’s four seasons are as follows: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction. Perhaps winter is the ultimate culprit – the force that gifts us chuck holes so big and scary you’d think your car may plummet to the center of the Earth – but our roads and highways always seem to be under construction.
Granted, I’m sure every city experiences construction all 👏 the 👏time 👏, but if your patience wears thin in slowed, construction traffic or when forced to take a detour, then Cleveland may not be the city for you.